I fell free again

I can feel the freedom now. Finally!
I should give you some explanation I guess. So here it is:
Its kind of a long story but Im sure I can make it much shorter:) There is a guy, lets call him Percy. Percy and I have been friends for almost three years and we were really good friends for a few months. Till I started to like him, then the friendship wasnt as strong and we barely said Hi to each other. A year and a half passed and we started to talk a little bit more again and after maybe four months we became good friends again. It was fun, but I fell in love again. This time it was different though, cause I think it was partly an autosuggestion. I dont know if you ever have experienced it, but if you have some friends who are asking you constantly about a person and making fun of it and such things, you while talking with them are starting to think about the person really their way. If this makes sence to you. Anyway, I started kinda like him, but it was hard, cause he was talking to me once and not really another time. So our friendship was like on a swing. Up and down, up and down...Then we had a real good conversation the other day, and the following days were good as well. That was the top though, so now its down again. But you know what? I dont care anymore. I spent lots of time asking God for help. I asked him to show me His will in this issue. And now Im deffinitely sure that Percy is not the right guy for me. I was trying to convince myself about this for so many times, but now it finally works. Yeah, God helped me realize that we would never make a good match. Cause a relationship without talking and where just one is active simply cannot work out. Breathing is awesome.

I would like to share one lyrics by Rascall Flats with you, cause it reminds me a little bit me right now, considering we never were a couple:

I should be out in that driveway stopping you
Tears should be rolling down my cheek
And I don't know why I'm not falling apart
Like I usually do
And how the thought of losing you's not killing me
I feel bad
That I can stand here strong
Cold as stone, Seems so wrong
I can't explain it
Maybe it's just
I've cried so much
I'm tired and I'm numb Baby I hate it
I feel bad that I don't feel bad

I can let myself be angry over wasted time
And sad about just throwing love away
Yeah I almost wish my heart was breaking
But I cant lie
All I want to do is turn the page
I feel Bad
That I can stand here strong
Cold as stone, Seems so wrong
I can't explain it
Maybe it's just
I've cried so much
I'm tired and I'm numb Baby I hate it
I feel bad

That I don't feel bitter, alone
I just feel its time, its time to move on
I just gotta move on and on and on and on